If you have come to the age of 40 to 50 and are feeling this unnerving urge to destroy your partner or husband, you could be in menopause.
Anger associated with menopause is not the usual mood swing which passes by as a bad day or your husband did something small that he knows well will displace you. It is rather a major deep inner rage to the point of an extreme outburst toward your partners.
A lot can be done to manage these types of situations by both partners. Women with menopause can control their mood swings and rage episodes by either making a few lifestyle changes while men can read more about their partner's condition and empathize with them. Regardless of the solution, let's discuss the problem first.
Why the anger?
When the mood swings and the rage sets in, there are several reasons why they are directed to your husband. He is that one person who is around, he has always been the element of understanding but then menopause is a tricky transition. Sometimes women miss the signs let alone men picking them up and empathizing with their women. Hence the anger is directed toward the men.
There are several reasons why women get angry. Here are a few reasons that can trigger rage in women.
The menopause taboo - the topic of menopause has always been taboo, and most women shy away from discussing it in extensive detail with their husbands. This happens due to a lack of knowledge or even a sense of shame.
Lack of workplace consideration - a lot of women get frustrated because there is no workplace consideration for their physical transition and this can be very difficult to cope with. The grief might get carried home if not addressed.
Lack of acceptance of aging - many women get agitated with the fact that they will be starting this new chapter in their lives. Usually staying in denial or lack of acceptance can be a major contributor to rage.
Probability of weight gain - Menopause weight gain is very common, due to the declining metabolism the extra weight settling in the midsection can be daunting. A new look which is an unfamiliar look also sets in rage.
Mood and Menopause
The roller coaster ride called Menopause can have a significant impact on your mood, as well as your marriage.
Fluctuating levels of hormones during this transition to menopause may be contributing to your new volatility. This is because estrogen regulates the feel-good hormone serotonin, as well as other neurotransmitters like dopamine and norepinephrine, levels of which in our body can affect our mood.
Menopause symptoms (hot flashes, heart palpitations night sweats) have also been closely linked to declining estrogen levels, and also psychological factors like insomnia and anxiety.
These symptoms combined could disrupt your life in a lot of ways—including your relationships with your partner.
The Australasian Menopause Society says mood disturbances in menopause are more towards increased anger and irritability and less towards sadness. They have described it as an ‘on-off’ phenomenon, with rage lasting for a few minutes or even hours before it spontaneously resolves, very similar to pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS).
If the mood swings are getting too much for both you and your partner, research has shown that hypnotherapy may improve mood and reduce stress. As hypnotherapy may also help with other menopause symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats, the anger might will subside and this will help reset relationships.
Let’s Change that Mood
To get your relationship back on track, there are many ways from supplements to therapy. It will also potentially lessen the anger you’re feeling towards your husband.
Natural supplement - Cimicifuga Racemosa Extract is a natural supplement derived from a flowering plant that might get your mood (and relationship) back on track research suggests. Cimicifuga Racemosa Extract has been known to have a positive effect on menopausal mood swings, as well as help with your anxiety and hot flashes. Remifemin has Cimifugae Racemosa which is in tablet form and can help with the symptoms of Menopause naturally.
Yoga - Apart from being a good stretch Yoga has several studies that have shown effectiveness in reducing menopausal symptoms. Stretching and relaxation techniques in yoga can help elevate and stabilize your mood and improve your quality of life during menopause, this may also help with the anger you’re feeling.
Therapy- Getting a professional to listen to you might help you determine if there’s more going on. They can also give you the tools to manage your menopause-induced anger a little better. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has also been proven to help with mood swings and anxiety. It can also help build your resilience and also help cope with anger issues with your partner.
The Husbands Checklist
Dear Husbands and Partners, Do you feel that there is a new personal sleeping right next to you? Then there is a checklist that will go a long way on the menopause empathy road.
So if you have been directing angry outbursts towards your husband lately, menopause may be the blame for this new rage. Fluctuating estrogen levels during and before menopause can make a huge impact on your overall mood, and potentially worsen the other symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats, and anxiety. Husbands often become the easy target when the rage rises. However, lifestyle changes like Yoga, Medication, Herbal Supplements, HRT, and Talk Therapy are at the rescue. And husbands if you are feeling unsure about how to best support their partners, know that a little empathy will go a long way.
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